How to do things when the world is falling apart
Issue #6: in which I reveal my deep love for timers, ice water, and saying no
If you’ve read some of my other posts or follow me on socials, you probably know I have ADHD. If you’ve spent any time on this planet lately, you also know that simply existing is a demanding task. An even more demanding one? Functioning — doing your work, taking care of your body, your mind, your environment, your loved ones. These days, the daily minutiae of life can feel impossible as we watch horrors unfold around us.
For me, though, executive dysfunction isn't just a response to the chaos — it’s my constant companion 🫠! (Picture us: skipping hand-in-hand through piles of laundry, never-ending dishes, stacks of important papers.) It's part of my life no matter what’s happening in the news cycle. And lately, I’ve had to lean even harder on the systems and mechanisms I’ve built to support myself: the tiny rituals, the scaffolding, the forgiving structures that help me move through the days. Some days (…most days…) I struggle to lean into these. I struggle to be gentle. I struggle to do more than perform at work and remember to feed myself.
But even in the struggle — maybe especially in the struggle — I want to share some of what’s helped me. Just in case it helps you too.
The 5 for 5 rule
I can’t recall where I learned about this, or what the original framing was, but the version I’ve adapted over the years is simple: How can I make something 5% better in 5 minutes?
I love this rule because it astonishes me every time how long five minutes can actually feel. And it completely severs the tie to perfectionism in my brain. Language matters here, too — we’re not saying “5% cleaner” or “5% more organized” or tying it to any one kind of success. We’re simply saying better, which lets your brain naturally prioritize whatever feels most pressing in the moment.
Take my coffee table, for example. It often gets messy and cluttered because it’s a central hub where I do a lot of things. If my goal is to make it 5% better, that could look a few different ways. One day, it might mean clearing it off completely and giving it a full wipe-down with disinfectant wipes. Another day, it might just mean shoving some things into a pile to make more space for something I need to do that evening. Another day, it might mean simply carrying the dishes to the sink and giving them a quick wash. Whatever I need in that moment — that’s what better looks like.
You can apply this to pretty much anything, I’ve found.
To our bodies: On days when I’m feeling especially low or depressed, I’ll ask myself, how can I make my body feel 5% better in 5 minutes? Maybe I can do some quick stretching. Maybe I can splash some cool water on my face.
To our work: Maybe you’ve been stuck on a project for a while, or you’re about to share something with your team but you’re feeling nervous. The 5% rule applies here too — what’s one small thing you could do in five minutes that would make it feel just a little better? That time-box helps you exit the spiral!
🧠 When you’re overwhelmed, it’s easy to fall into an endless loop of overthinking, avoidance, and perfectionism. But putting a clear, tiny boundary around the task — just five minutes — tricks your brain into moving instead of just thinking about moving. It makes the task feel smaller, lighter, doable.
Temperature therapy
I know I’ll lose some of y’all with this one, but I swear by dunking my face into ice water. This activates my parasympathetic nervous system like nothing else!
There’s actually a science-y reason for this: cold water stimulates the vagus nerve, which plays a huge role in calming your body down. When the vagus nerve is activated, it signals to your brain and body that you're safe. Your heart rate slows, your digestion kicks back on, your muscles start to relax. It helps pull you out of fight-or-flight and back into rest-and-digest.
Sometimes, if I don’t have the patience to fill a bowl with ice water, I opt for simpler approaches like running cold water over my wrists or holding an ice pack on my neck or upper chest. Cooling down spots like these can lower your blood temperature just enough to tap the brakes on stress responses.
Give it a go the next time you’re feeling like the weight of the world is sending you into a spiral — trying can’t hurt.
‘No’ lists
I don’t know about y’all, but to-do lists die the moment I make them. I’ve tried all the apps, all the physical approaches, sticky notes on my bathroom mirror — you name it.
A couple years back, I saw a TikTok of a woman who began creating lists of things she wasn’t going to accomplish — I decided to give it a go. It worked better for me immediately. I shouldn’t be surprised, really — I’m someone who LOVES to ruthlessly prioritize and groom tasks. But for real, it’s a quick gut-check with myself: where’s my mind at, where’s my body at, how many spoons am I actually working with today?
When I make a to-do list, I usually end up reaching just beyond what I can handle.
But when I make a no list, I’m cutting through the noise. I’m naming what’s off the table before I even try to pick it up.
Chores Care tasks
This might be common sense for some people, but it genuinely shifted something for me when I learned how much a simple reframe could help.
Literally: call everything a care task. Then think about how you deserve care.
You deserve to inhabit a body that feels comfortable and clean.
You deserve to live in a space where you feel safe and relaxed.
When you approach care tasks this way, they can start to feel more ritualistic — less about obligation, more about love and appreciation. You're not just scrubbing a sink or brushing your teeth; you're tending to yourself and your space because you’re worthy of that care.
🎶 Volume #6
For each issue, I include three songs I’m into lately:
party 4 u by Charli xcx
Cheerleader by Porter Robinson
Birds Don’t Sing by TV Girl